Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Celluloid Heroes (1972)

Celluloid Heroes


In Hollywood, you don't die, you become a star and if you're famous enough (and have $25,000), you could become a star on  Hollywood Boulevard

My favorite song about this Walk of Fame is Celluloid Heroes by The Kinks, a British invasion band that came to prominence in the US with their single "You Really Got Me".  Celluloid Heroes wasn't released until 1972 and its haunting lyrics and melody give us a melancholic perspective on fame; celluloid heroes never feel any pain and celluloid heroes never really die but these same heroes were lonely, fragile and only made of flesh and blood.  Despite the shortcomings, the song echoes the public's obsession with becoming famous; Everybody's a dreamer, Everybody's a star And everybody's in showbiz it doesn't matter who you are.

It's a great song written by Ray Davies and I've included the full lyrics below:

Everybody’s a dreamer and everybody’s a star,
And everybody’s in movies, it doesn’t matter who you are.
There are stars in every city,
In every house and on every street,
And if you walk down Hollywood boulevard
Their names are written in concrete!

Don’t step on Greta Garbo as you walk down the boulevard,
She looks so weak and fragile that’s why she tried to be so hard
But they turned her into a princess
And they sat her on a throne,
But she turned her back on stardom,
Because she wanted to be alone.

You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood boulevard,
Some that you recognise, some that you’ve hardly even heard of,
People who worked and suffered and struggled for fame,
Some who succeeded and some who suffered in vain.
Rudolph Valentino, looks very much alive,

And he looks up ladies’ dresses as they sadly pass him by.
Avoid stepping on Bela Lugosi
’cos he’s liable to turn and bite,
But stand close by Bette Davis
Because hers was such a lonely life.

If you covered him with garbage,
George Sanders would still have style,
And if you stamped on Mickey Rooney
He would still turn round and smile,
But please don’t tread on dearest Marilyn
’cos she’s not very tough,
She should have been made of iron or steel,
But she was only made of flesh and blood.

You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood boulevard,
Some that you recognise, some that you’ve hardly even heard of.
People who worked and suffered and struggled for fame,
Some who succeeded and some who suffered in vain.

Everybody’s a dreamer and everybody’s a star
And everybody’s in show biz, it doesn’t matter who you are.
And those who are successful,
Be always on your guard,
Success walks hand in hand with failure
Along Hollywood boulevard.

I wish my life was a non-stop Hollywood movie show,
A fantasy world of celluloid villains and heroes,
Because celluloid heroes never feel any pain
And celluloid heroes never really die.

You can see all the stars as you walk along Hollywood boulevard,
Some that you recognise, some that you’ve hardly even heard of,
People who worked and suffered and struggled for fame,
Some who succeeded and some who suffered in vain.

Oh celluloid heroes never feel any pain
Oh celluloid heroes never really die.
I wish my life was a non-stop Hollywood movie show,
A fantasy world of celluloid villains and heroes,
Because celluloid heroes never feel any pain
And celluloid heroes never really die. 

The Hollywood Walk of Fame stretches for 2.4miles along Hollywood Boulevard and has 2414 stars including the newest star which will be placed on July 29th, 2010 and have the name "Mark Walberg" on it.  No doubt, Marky Mark will be there so be sure to show up and throw your Calvins at him. 

The Walk is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year and you can get more information about the celebrations at http://www.hollywoodchamber.net/



In Celluloid Heroes, eight stars are mentioned and I decided to track them all down on a recent visit to Hollywood.  Because I have nothing better to do. 

The first one I found was George Sanders located at 7007 Hollywood Boulevard.  His most famous role was the dry theater critic in All About Eve for which he won a Best Supporting Actor Academy Award. 

I hope you appreciate the placement of the shadow in my photo which is appropriately in the form of an Oscar. 

If you covered him with garbage,
George Sanders would still have style

Sadly, George committed suicide in Barcelona, Spain at the age of 65.  He was apparently "bored". 


Next to George's star is a Hollywood gift shop selling T-shirts and tacky Oscar statuettes.  In this area of Hollywood, there are plenty of shops like this so if you're looking for that "World's Best Mom!" Oscar, then be sure to shop around. 


If you do walk this Boulevard, you won't miss the Grauman's Chinese Theater located at 6925 Hollywood Boulevard.  It is a very imposing structure and well worth a visit to check out a movie.  The theater screen is HUGE!   


And of course, you have to stick your hands and feet in the cement outside the theater.  Judy Garland must have been VERY tiny. 


The next star I found belonged to Greta Garbo at 6901 Hollywood Boulevard, the silver screen beauty who just "vanted to be alone".  She lived a reclusive life after a long film career and died in New York City in 1990. 

Don’t step on Greta Garbo as you walk down the boulevard,
She looks so weak and fragile that’s why she tried to be so hard


Ironically, her star is right next to the blaring neon sign of the Hard Rock Cafe where her star is trampled day and night by hordes of tourists. 


You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood boulevard,
Some that you recognise, some that you’ve hardly even heard of

And this is why I included the star belonging to Iron Eyes Cody located at 6655 Hollywood Boulevard.  I had never heard of him before but after a quick search, I found out that he was the famous "Crying Indian" seen in the Keep America Beautiful PSA which aired in the early 70s.  He stood by the side of the road and shed a tear as trash was thrown from a car and landed at his feet. 

Such a sensitive Indian. 


If you're starting to wonder if Hollywood Boulevard is just full of overpriced tourist shops, then your impression is not entirely inaccurate.  However, there are some cool restaurants such as The Geisha House located at 6633 Hollywood Boulevard. 

If you're under 30 and want to be in a place where the scene is more important than the food, then check it out. 


And the Musso and Frank's Grill, famous for its steak and martinis, is located at 6667 Hollywood Boulevard.  It is Hollywood's oldest eatery and was established in 1919. 


Next up, I came to Mickey Rooney located at 6541 Hollywood Boulevard. 

And if you stamped on Mickey Rooney
He would still turn round and smile,

Apparently Mickey is quite a nice guy but he has yet to apologize for the the buck toothed myopic Japanese landlord in the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's.   

He also has Walk of Fame stars for Radio and Television. 


And in keeping with the MickeyRooney/Asian theme, his Boulevard star is located right next to a Thai massage parlor.  For $40, that's a pretty good deal especially if it includes a Happy Ending!  Yahoo! 


There are some great murals along the Boulevard ... 


But just because you're a star, doesn't mean you get respect ...


And my favorite mural is this one.  All the stars are there watching themselves on the silver screen.

Defacing Marilyn should be a crime punishable by death in Hollywood. 


Bette Davis is located at 6225 Hollywood Boulevard. 

But stand close by Bette Davis
Because hers was such a lonely life

Having been married four times, I'm not sure how she was so lonely but perhaps she never found her soul mate. 


And her star is right next to the Pantages Theater.  Margo Channing, her thespian character in All About Eve, would be proud. 


This is a good theme for the Boulevard.  Of course, if you don't quit and never make it, you might end up being old and bitter.

The choice is yours. 


One of the first sex symbols, Rudolph Valentino is located at 6164 Hollywood Boulevard. 

Rudolph Valentino, looks very much alive,
And he looks up ladies’ dresses as they sadly pass him by.

I'm betting most people have never seen any of his movies and barely know anything about him but his name is instantly recognizable.  That makes him an icon. 

He only lived to the age of 31 and died as a result of complications from appendicitis. 

Now you know.


Hmm, not much to keep Rudolph company.  His star is right next to a generic parking lot. 


And next, I came to the star of Bela Lugosi which can be found at 6340 Hollywood Boulevard. 

Avoid stepping on Bela Lugosi
’cos he’s liable to turn and bite

Bela was famously known for his portrayal of Dracula in the Universal movies.  Despite being a legend, he fell into near poverty and was rescued from obscurity by the director Ed Wood who offered him a few movie roles.

He died of a heart attack in 1956. 


And wouldn't ya know, right next to Bela's star is a JuicyBurger!  Sink your fangs into these gourmet hamburgs. 


At this point, I just wanted to include a picture of cool kinky shoes.  There is really no relevance. 

Writing this blog is taking longer than the time it took to walk down the damn street! 


Marilyn Monroe.  THE icon.  Her star was found at 6774 Hollywood Boulevard. 

But please don’t tread on dearest Marilyn
’cos she’s not very tough,
She should have been made of iron or steel,
But she was only made of flesh and blood.

And she wasn't very tough.  Her candle blew out at the painfully young age of 36.  Probable suicide, mistaken overdose or Kennedy hit?  You decide because the history books can't.   


And right next to Norma Jeane's star is a McDonalds.  Yeeha!  All the glamor you can handle right here on the Boulevard. 

Get your Sausage McMuffin now!  Some like them hot!  


Phew!  And that's it.

HOW TO GET THERE:  If you're from out of town, Hollywood Boulevard is high on the list of must-see attractions and every tour bus is going to drive down it.  Otherwise, if you're driving your own car, park in the large underground parking at the Hollywood/Highland complex and get your ticket validated at the little stall on the 2nd floor (buy a pack of gum or a Gatorade or something). 

View Larger Map

WORTH THE TREK?  9/10  Sure it's touristy and on certain days, you'll get trampled by hordes of camera-wielding out-of-towners but this strip of pavement is still a lot of fun.  You won't catch a live celebrity here but the spirit of the dead ones will keep you in good company.   

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Pretty Woman (1990)

Pretty Woman (10th Anniversary Edition)

Remember the time when romantic comedies were done right? 

Pretty Woman was a hugely successful film with a worldwide gross of nearly half a billion dollars.  It made Julia Roberts into a superstar and resurrected the career of Richard Gere.  It drove up the sales of Lotus Esprit cars and the soundtrack went on to be certified three times platinum.  I remember when the movie came out and it sat for weeks in the theaters.  Everyone, it seemed, was falling in love with Pretty Woman. 

Oh, if it were all true.  Billionaires don't look like Richard Gere, they look like Warren Buffett.  Hookers on Hollywood Boulevard are a little more Laura San Giacomo and a lot less Julia Roberts.  I'm pretty sure that sales ladies on Rodeo Drive wouldn't turn away a potential customer in this economy (although I could be wrong about that) and who ever heard of a ultra-rich dude finding love on the streets anyway?  It doesn't matter; romantic comedies are supposed to be escapist fantasies and as long as the stars align (which they did in Pretty Woman), everyone goes home happy. 

Vivian Ward played by Julia Roberts made her sinful money on Hollywood Boulevard.  Of course, Hollywood Boulevard is a major street in Los Angeles and parts of it are still quite seedy.  I've never walked down it at night but I'm not sure I would want to without at least a couple of cocktails in me. 


I congratulate the scouts for finding authentic filming locations.  If you turn off Hollywood and go a short distance up Las Palmas ...  


... you arrive at the hotel where Vivian and her hooker roommate (played by Laura San Giacomo) lived. 

This is the Hotel Las Palmas and the address is 1738 N. Las Palmas Avenue, 90028.   


It looks exactly like it did in the movie.  There is the fire escape which Edward Lewis (played by Richard Gere) bravely mounted so he could rescue Vivian from her life of shame.  I suppose if you wanted to get technical about it, Vivian had already decided to give up her hooker life at that point so Edward was really just bumping her up into a different tax bracket.  



Las Palmas is what you would call a "budget" hotel.  It does have a great location if you want to party on Hollywood Boulevard and thankfully, security looks pretty tight at least from the outside.  

The rates are $40 a night and $190 a week.  That's pretty awesome for Hollywood especially if you're a struggling actor from India and you've come to LA to hit the big time.  Good luck Deepak

I'm guessing hourly rates are probably negotiable. 


And the rates apparently include a tv!  I wonder if there is HBO ...


If you're interested, the website is http://www.hollywoodhotellaspalmas.com/

Okay, now for the other extreme.  Let's take a ride on a Lotus Esprit and travel from the Hotel Las Palmas to where Edward was staying:  The Regent Beverly Wilshire currently known as the Beverly Wilshire.  It isn't that far but distance in LA is not measured in miles, it's measured in time and that can vary wildly depending on the time of day.  At 2pm in the afternoon, it took about half an hour to make the trip. 


View Larger Map

Parking in Beverly Hills can be a bit of a nightmare if you want to avoid the valet.  I found a space at the library public parking and it was two hours free.  Free in LA?  In Beverly Hills?  I nearly crapped in my Gucci loafers. 

(Please note:  I don't own a pair of Gucci loafers.) 


If you park at the library, there is a short walk down Rodeo Drive where you can do a lot of window shopping and silently curse your parents for not giving you a bigger inheritance. 


Rodeo Drive feels a little like an upscale Disneyland and judging by the number of tourists, a lot of people think of it in this way. 


Oh yes, all the famous names are there ...   





Something more affordable, perhaps? 


And finally, if you haven't collapsed from all the sheer materialism, you arrive at Wilshire Boulevard ... 


... and the Beverly Wilshire, located at 9500 Wilshire Boulevard. 


It was finished in 1928 and built in the Italian Renaissance architecture style.  It is a very imposing building and to me, it looks like it should be haunted but I have no proof that it is. 



This ain't no Lotus Esprit but it is a Bentley parked outside for everyone to see.  One day I hope to touch one of these cars and not get arrested. 


The lobby of the Beverly Wilshire is strangely quite bland.  It's easy to walk in--the doorman won't bother you--in fact, if he treats you anything like he did me, he won't even open the damn door.  I clearly didn't look like I could afford either to eat or to stay at this luxurious palace. 


Why did Edward stay at the Beverly Wilshire?  Because it was the best.  I should hope so---with rates exceeding $400 a night, I would expect nothing less. 

If you feel like you deserve to be pampered (or just live out a Vivian/Edward fantasy), then please check out the hotel website at www.fourseasons.com/beverlywilshire/

HOW TO GET THERE:  The Hotel Las Palmas is in central Hollywood very close to the tourist mecca, the Hollywood-Highland complex.  The Beverly Wilshire is in central Beverly Hills and you can't miss it if you are visiting Rodeo Drive. 

WORTH THE TREK?  8/10  Seeing the Hotel Las Palmas was pretty cool and if you're a fan of the movie, I highly recommend it.  Not sure if I would stay there unless my tax bracket took a tumble.  7/10 for the Beverly Wilshire.  The architecture of the building is very interesting but unless you can afford the rooms or the expensive restaurants (CUT by Wolfgang Puck), you might feel as if you're a pauper in a palace.